Leaning In During Crisis

Leaning In During Crisis

Healing Happens through Relationship

At some point or another, we will find ourselves and/or those we know in the midst of a crisis. When that moment arises, we want to be positioned to provide the best care.

“Functioning in survival mode does not allow space to consider other feelings or experiences.” – Bryan Post

Tips for Leaning In During Crisis

In order to bring peace with us into crisis, we must first take a few steps of our own…because a dysregulated person cannot co-regulate someone else. We have compiled some practical to regulate yourself and be present in the midst of a potentially traumatic season.

You can watch or read below.

P – Pray his Promises:

Praise God for who He is and pray scripture to feel the total peace of the Spirit, regardless of our circumstances.

Fear is warranted right now…together, though, we won’t be overcome by it. We’re just going to speak these promises into our lives and into the situation before entering in. I’ll share a couple…and place the rest in the comments.

  • “I let the peace of God rule in my heart and I refuse to worry about anything” Colossians 3:15
  • “I am far from oppression, and fear does not come near me.” Isaiah 54:14
  • “The peace of God which passes all understanding keeps my heart and my mind through Christ Jesus. And things which are good, and pure, and perfect, and lovely, and of good report, I think on these things.” Philippians 4:7-8
  • “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.” 1 John 4:18
  • “I am an overcomer and I am overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of my testimony.” Revelation 12:11

O – Organize our Emotions:

Recognize how stress is impacting your body, because our bodies keep score.  

Your body is designed to protect you, hence when you enter a grocery store during the Coronavirus, you may be feeling fine, or maybe a little concerned from some images that have been floating around social media, but, as you shop, seeing empty shelves, long lines, and panicked peopled, you might find yourself (or witness someone else):

  • Unsure of what to do…maybe you’re wandering through the store…
  • Maybe feeling low or very angry all of the sudden...
  • Maybe thoughts begin racing through your head: what do I buy when what I normally purchase is gone? Do I need to stock up and protect my family? What if I don’t have enough food? Why did those people take all of the dang TP!

While this isn’t normally an issue, right now, with excess stress, your body is taking the hit.

When we encounter excess stress we get dysregulated and this is what happens:

  • Thinking is distorted
  • Short term memory affected
  • Time is distorted
  • Your past is stirred up  
  • Obsess about the future
  • Hyper aware of surroundings
  • Heart rate increases
  • Hands/feet get cold
  • Muscles tense
  • Stomach pain

In times of fear/stress, we literally cannot receive love. Literally, physiologically!

This means our executive functioning/logic turns off and we are having a more primal reaction to protect ourselves from the perceived threat in front of us.

When we stress, we regress.

  • So, when we stress, we regress….acting our Half Age…adults acting like teens…getting angry/offended over things they don’t normally…or school aged kids having totally meltdowns and acting like toddlers
  • We find ourselves unable to make decisions…maybe you’ve spent exponentially more time watching the news or social media…in an effort to “stay ahead” or “control the situation”
  • Maybe you’ve seen images of restaurants boarded up around town and felt like this was surreal
  • You might shut down emotionally, space out, feel numb
  • Maybe the added stress of transitioning to an entirely different schedule, on top of normal responsibilities is shortening your temper
  • You might feel angry, yell, feel overwhelmed or feel like you need to escape the situation

I want to encourage you to let yourself feel the stress and acknowledge the fear.

This is an actual crisis, and while the impacts are still widely unknown, your body is feeling the stress whether you’re intentionally processing it or not.

Sit in the emotions for a bit and notice how you feel, how you are mentally processing, where you’re carrying your stress. It’s not the time to sweep it under the rug.

Let’s deal with it now, together.

When we find ourselves highly stressed and dysregulated, a step we can take to regulate ourselves, is to breathe (so we can co-regulate another).

You know before a plane ride, you’re asked to put the oxygen mask on yourself, then others. That’s exactly what we’re doing here.

When we are stressed or near someone that is very stressed, our bodies release the stress hormone cortisol to respond to the perceived threat. This is our fight, flight or freeze response.

In order to restore our logical thinking, we need to take deep breaths to train our body to release oxytocin (the connection hormone). Taking three to 10 deep breaths will allow us to replace cortisol (stress) with oxytocin (love). 

  • Breathe in your nose for a 4 count
  • Hold the breath for an 8 count
  • Breathe out your mouth for a 4 count
  • Pause for a 4 count

P – Plan Our Actions:

There is an OVERWHELMING amount of info out there…from coronavirus counts to home activities, government mandates to free museum tours…all of this and we’re going to try and do something for someone else? How can we do this when we’re overwhelmed?

After we’ve taken a few deep breaths, we’re going to ask God for his strength in our weakness. 

Ask the Lord, “Who are you leading us to care for?” Write down 12 names.

  • Prioritize immediate family
  • The most vulnerable
    • Eldelrly, widows, orphans, single moms, the ill
    • Those needing food, shelter, medical needs, financial help
    • Mentally ill, folks that struggle with anxiety/depression
  • Other family/friends

Once you have an idea of the 12 people, look at your calendar, do the 3 L’s of Leaning In:

Leeway – allocate time to be inconvenienced

  • Linger in the front yard, on phone calls and any face-to-face encounters 
  • Let there be free evenings in your weekly schedule – a full schedule will either keep you from helping or create an unsustainable pace of life
  • Leave your phone on at night – be ready at all hours since trauma has no concept of time

Listen – allow them to process 

  • Repeating the situation aloud is a healthy step in processing stress and trauma.
  • Here are some questions you can ask when attempting to help someone emotionally process.

What’s been happening?

What do you think about all of this right now?

What have you noticed about yourself since this all began? How do you feel about it now?

  • Do your best to withhold your input/advice in this moment, unless they specifically ask for it… Bonus! That means there’s less need to fill the empty space with words/cliches that we might later regret. If you want to offer encouragement, you can say something like: “That sounds like a normal response given the circumstances.”

List – ways you can help

  • Avoid saying, “let me know if you need anything” – remember that their thinking is distorted, they can’t process well enough to respond. Provide dates and times that you can perform those specific activities
  • Do have a list ready to go with things you’re willing + able to do at the drop of a hat 
  • Utilize the Resource guide put together by Legacy when needs arise 

If you’re looking for a family-friendly church home in Hutto, TX, we invite you to join us Sunday at 5 pm.